I am sitting in the corner of my closet, laptop on my knees waiting for the house to implode over my head. Yesterday was quite seriously one of the most star-crossed days I’ve had in a long time, and I’m known for having some righteously strange ones.
To begin with, I overslept slightly (for me not normal beings) and woke up about ten minutes before the alarm was to go off. Why I set it I have no idea, because I always am awake far before it needs to get me to that state, but as with a lot of things I do, I just do it and don’t ask questions. It was hard to determine whether the cat sharing her posterior view in my direction before my first cup of coffee or the miserable dream I was tossing my way through woke me up first. In either case, my eyes were open.
After navigating through the shark infested waters of getting a teenager up and moving towards the car, and getting myself ready to head out to a 10:30 doctor’s appointment, I hustled downstairs to feed Mouse, the cat on the second floor, her breakfast. Always enthusiastic to see me when I have her kibble bag in hand, I quickly changed her water and after setting it down proceeded to pour a large helping of food in her dish. The cat, strange on the best of days, rather than diving into her dish just sat down and stared at it, then up at me. What, do I have to eat it for you as well? It was then that I noticed that the kibble was floating. It seems I’d poured it in the newly filled water dish rather than her food bowl. Drat the luck.
Feeling the push of running slightly behind, I stepped up my pace to mega warp speed and quickly emptied the dishwasher, brushed my teeth, threw in a load of laundry, quickly came up with plans for the new space station, and hopped in the car.
Arriving at the doctor’s office about 2 minutes prior to my appointment I found the parking lot jam-packed so after circling a time or two parked about a half mile away and sprinted across the lot. At the elevator I found myself behind a lovely little elderly lady and her husband who were inching, and I do mean inching their way with their walkers through the door of the elevator I needed to access. Truly I have seen grass grow at a faster rate of speed. Trying to locate my patience I held the door and offered a smile, and then crocheted an afghan and made out my Christmas list until the elevator door finally closed.
Entering a thoroughly jammed waiting room, I waited in line and signed in. Breathing a sigh of relief I sat down and pulled out my book. Having read one exactly one word, I heard my name called. Yeah. However, it was the receptionist and not the nurse summoning me. Giving her my name she inquired as to why I was there. Telling her what my health issue was, she restated asking why I was there at all as I had no appointment on the books for this morning. Really? Searching the database we determined it was tomorrow morning and I was a bit too early to just sit and read until the doctor showed up.
Freed up slightly from my planned schedule I went to the bank, and then had three different food stores to go to armed with my coupons and ad specials. At my first stop and on top of my first list (I need a manager, I really do) were two bunches of asparagus. I located them in the back in the vegetable section, an obvious optimum choice of location, situated on a huge pyramid type display. Naturally, the bunches in the middle looked the nicest so I pulled one then another out. Like a house of cards about twenty of the ones on top began to walk off the display crashing to the floor. Broken spears were flying all over the place. “Clean up in the Vegetable Section.” Apologizing to the disgruntled clerk, I bought my paltry items probably worth half of the broken asparagus and slunk out the front door with my small bag. Sorry.
Next, I went to a larger grocery store and purchased the items on my second list. At this store you bag your own groceries and they were also buzzing. Is there a cataclysmic event this weekend or something, with so many people on the roads. By the time I began to put my items on the conveyor belt there was a long line forming behind me. At this store I picked up two boxes of colored spiral pasta, a huge plastic tub of strawberries, and assorted other items. Hurrying, I grabbed both boxes of pasta. The lids were apparently open. and as I moved my arm sideways I slung a confetti hail storm of orange and green pasta all over the people behind me. One man had one in his hair. Whoops. Trying to keep the line moving while at the same time alerting the clerk, I picked up the strawberries. No lie here, the lid opened and they catapulted onto the floor in a big pile in the middle of the pasta. When the clerk arrived with her one paper towel, the guy behind me said “you’re going to need more than that Little Lady, this young woman has leveled the store” (he was 85 hence the young woman) meanwhile removing a second orange pasta piece from his shirt collar. Sorry, I’m so sorry.
Getting in my car I turned toward home looking forward to some lunch and a safe sanctuary where I couldn’t hurt anyone. Driving down the back road by the dam I turned a corner and came on a sign reading “Road Closed”. Are you kidding me? I could feel my two pounds of shrimp thawing in the trunk. Turning to the right I followed the detour signs through the back hills for about 8 miles and finally came out on the same road about 100 feet on the other side of the location of the original “Road Closed” sign.
I got home, shut the garage door, and hoped that a plane wouldn’t land on the garage roof before I got the groceries in the house. Good Lord.
We had unexpected company last night and I needed to throw something together that looked like I knew what I was doing with minimum input and maximum output. This just fit the bill.
Fruity Mock Trifle
1 lg. Sara Lee frozen pound cake – thawed
1 3 oz. pkg. Jello instant vanilla pudding
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp. Kahlua
1 carton large strawberries, sliced
1 small carton blueberries
1 small carton raspberries
1 carton whipped topping
1 Macaroon or Oreo cookie, crumbled
Make pudding according to package directions. Once set, stir in Kahlua.
Place blueberries on top of middle cake layer and frost with vanilla pudding mixture. Top with top layer of cake.
Frost top layer of cake with whipped topping. Top with raspberries and sprinkle with macaroon crumbles. Yum.
Serve with extra whipped topping and berries.