I had dental implants put in a week ago. The dentist told me to expect some discomfort following the surgery. Now to my mind discomfort is getting a hangnail or a sunburn. On the pain scale I’d nominate this for a ten. I’d rather have a baby (as long as I don’t have to take it home, naturally). The three hundred shots they administered to numb my lower jaw were torture enough. Once they wore off, however, the game was on. OMG. I have a high metabolism making it more difficult for anesthetic to take effect. I knew this, of course, from prior visits to the dentist but this is the first time they nearly exhausted their supply of Novocaine before starting the procedure. My lower lip, although appearing of normal size if viewed in the mirror, felt like an floatation device. I am sure if lost in the mid-Atlantic I would have remained on the surface of the water all the way to the coast of the British Isles.
Usually I eschew pain medicine prescribed after surgery if possible. My body doesn’t take well to medication for whatever reason. In this case I was swallowing those babies like a bucket of double buttered popcorn after a fast. Before the four hours was up I was cajoling for the next pill like a seasoned addict willing to sell the cat for a fix. To describe the feeling imagine taking a vice, tightening it on your lower gums, use a power drill to make four holes in the bone, then screw four screws tightly into the holes and wait for the wave of discomfort (as they refer to it) to arrive. The plus side, if there is one, is this rivals Jenny Craig when it comes to speedy weight loss. The pounds have drifted off to such an extent the only thing that fits is my uniform from grade school folded in tissue in my hope chest.
After the initial pain wave died down to a somewhat more tolerable level the next phase rolled on in. My lower jaw began to swell giving me the appearance of a lucky chipmunk having stumbled upon a huge bag of nuts. Swell.
Rick stepped up to the plate, I have to say. He poured water, filled ice bags, gathered my prescriptions, applied wet wash clothes and generally made me feel better about feeling bad. The refrigerator was packed with yogurt, cottage cheese, Jello, mashed potatoes, and butternut squash soup. The freezer held dinner for him, each box requiring only the push of a button on the microwave and a fork to make it happen. So desperate were my taste buds for a new flavor to sample this morning I cooked some corned beef hash and boiled two eggs. Together they went in the food processor with some butter. Actually, it wasn’t bad. You won’t see it posted on my next blog and my cholesterol probably spiked, but it beat the heck out of strawberry Jello, I have to say.
Over the years I have suffered at the hands of dentists. Our family, as I mentioned several blogs back, was not blessed with good teeth. Despite all the care and attention we give them, like spoiled children they show little appreciation. I have had several knocked out. No, no, not by ex-husbands, though I’m sure it may have occasionally crossed their minds. Once a collie by the name of Rollo tossed up his snout to give me an enthusiastic hello and knocked a crescent-shaped wedge out of my front tooth. I looked like an extra on the Honey Boo Boo. It wasn’t pretty. For several weeks I wouldn’t have smiled if I’d just picked the winning numbers on the lottery. In the end they filled in the gap, and life went on but I was careful around the exuberant Rollo after that.
Another time I got hit full swing with a baseball bat breaking my nose and knocking out two lower teeth. That was an attractive look for me. Two black eyes, a nose brace, a swollen lip and a hole in my smile. I was fourteen at the time, making it even more of a tragedy. I had a bridge made to replace my missing teeth, and my nose, still slightly crooked to this day, finally healed. However, my picture from the Valentine Ball two weeks later shows me in a beautiful sparkly red dress, with matching heels, looking like I’d just stepped out of the ring after losing a round with Sonny Liston.
I thought I was pretty much on an upward spiral after the implants so Rick drove me to a dermatologist appointment yesterday. It was one I had made some time prior, and thought I’d better show up for. In addition to the teeth, delicate white English skin was an inherited gift. Thanks, Mom. On most days I’m thankful for this, but unfortunately like many gifts there is an up and a down side to the acquisition. In this case, English skin and the California sun are not a happy combination. As a kid I lathered on the baby oil and accumulated as many rays as I could on the gorgeous beaches provided along our coastline to do so. Tanning was a way of life back in the day, and I excelled at it. Now an occasional spot shows up as the sun reminds me of my visits and needs to be treated. Yesterday was to be such a day. If you’ve ever suffered through the shots in your mouth you simply haven’t had any fun at all until they stick a needle in the fleshy part of your cheek, or anywhere on your face for that matter. A band-aid was applied and what was left of me was returned to Rick. I told him as we exited the office, “Jump ship, save yourself. It’s the only sane thing to do”.
So, it has been a full week. The Fourth of July has sparkled on by. People seem to have used their heads while handling fireworks this year, devices whose main attraction would be fire and sparks need to be handled carefully in a parched state. Ah well, it was a day to celebrate.
I actually ate real food last night. I could be found sitting in the corner closely guarding a juicy half chicken and a huge slice of watermelon saying “step away from the bird”.
Served these lovely heirloom tomatoes with my chicken and with the horseradish sauce they were big hit. Will get back to cooking again this week as we are tiring of food we can eat with a spoon and I am behind on my blog.
Hope your holiday weekend was safe and fun.
Heirloom Tomatoes with Creamy Horseradish Sauce
8 small or 6 large tomatoes, sliced thin
1/4 cup green olives
Peppers and chives for garnish
2 Tbsp. sour cream
1 Tbsp. prepared horseradish
1 Tbsp. mayonnaise
4 Tbsp. half and half
1 tsp. Dijon Mustard
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp. chopped chives
Salt and pepper to taste
Whisk all ingredients together and serve over chilled tomatoes.