This particular blog is dedicated to those of you who like myself who have managed to successfully avoid scheduling an appointment for a colonoscopy. Yesterday for me was the big day. Over the past several months I rescheduled my original appointment twice. Something always conveniently came up, mostly my white flag with a huge chicken embossed in the middle of it. Finally I ran out of reasons and excuses and decided rather than having this looming over my head I’d do it and get it over with.
Let me start by saying they give you way too much information to assimilate. Prep begins 5 days prior to the actual procedure by eliminating certain medications like blood thinners out of your daily regimen. Fortunately this didn’t apply to me so I went on to the 3 days prior instructions. Along with the pamphlets provided by your doctor everybody who has every had one of these tosses in a few hints on how to survive it. In the end you will need a wall sized white board and pens of assorted colors to manage the event. A friend’s husband told me when he had his the doctor told him he could watch the proceedings on the screen as they went along. I’d be willing to comply if they handed me a bucket of buttered popcorn but otherwise I’d rather watch reruns of Cheers thank you very much. At any rate, my friend went on to say the next thing he remembered he was sitting in the passenger seat at a stop sign having no idea how he arrived there, who dressed him, or anything that had transpired after the doctor told him he could watch the screen. Sign me up for that experience please. That’s the one I’d like to have.
Day 3 prior to the procedure you begin a soft diet, eliminating our usual plans for dinner and a movie. I’m not wasting a date night on a dollop of mashed potatoes and a couple of soft boiled eggs. Day 3 you have to stop eating anything with seeds such as berries, tomatoes, bananas, etc. As these are included in my menu daily I sadly deposited the last of my fresh raspberries on top of vanilla ice cream I was serving to my other half.
Day 2 you continue with a lite diet for breakfast and lunch and begin taking on a little extra liquid. The lite diet consists basically of cereal (without seeds) and milk, eggs, white toast, chicken without skin, fish, rice, applesauce etc.
On the day before the procedure I was allowed a small bowl of cereal with milk or poached or boiled eggs, white toast, chicken or fish, and a potato without the skin or a cup of rice and clear liquids. The clear liquids included black coffee, Gator Ade, Jello (no red or purple flavors), apple juice, 7up and on and on …. Apparently if you can read a newspaper through it, it’s clear. Now, why is it I have to drink black coffee but milk is okay in my cereal? Who writes these directions? Already full of water so the cereal wasn’t sounding good. My stomach, usually rather flat, had taken on proportions suitable for keeping oneself afloat if thrown overboard.
Have you noticed immediately when you’re told you cannot have something, you want it more than you ever have before? Suddenly I was craving tomatoes, seeds, sigh. Another interesting thought, why no red or purple Jello? Perhaps the colors making it so leave a telltale trail along the way?
At 2:00 in the afternoon I was to discontinue enjoying these delightful menu selections and move on to simply liquids including chicken broth. At the time I didn’t think I’d miss the cereal and boiled eggs, but found out around 7:00 in the evening either was sounding rather good. At 6:00 you down your first dose of the molotov cocktail you get from the pharmacist. The object here is to divest your body of all stored materials which I will not delve further into as I’m sure you get my drift. Then the fun begins. Again you get my drift. Take a book, really.
At 2:00 a.m. you have to wake up and take on another gallon of liquid and repeat the procedure.
Now, I am here to tell you after all that I was still nervous about what was to transpire in the doctor’s office. We arrived at 7:30 and I was quickly taken in to an operating room once I was in a hospital gown. They asked me for my choice of music, finally found a vein as they’re harder to locate when you’re dehydrated, and told me to have a nice nap. From that point on I remember not one thing until the nurse was standing over me asking me if I’d like a glass of water. Are you kidding? I want an In n Out burger with extra cheese. Water has had its way with me.
Sooooooo, all that worry was for nothing. In the end as I’d been told the worst part of the program is the preparation. Animals are lucky. They feel pain like we do certainly but don’t suffer with the anticipation of pain. I’m so glad this is behind me (no pun intended).
I want to take a moment here to say how much I am going to miss Robin Williams. Not a friend of mine, I didn’t know the man. Although through his work somehow I feel as if he was. Mrs. Doubtfire is a movie I switch on when I’m sad. Dead Poet’s Society is like slipping on a comfortable shoe. Good Will Hunting, well, wonderful. I could go on and on. I first saw him on Happy Days as Mork and was immediately smitten as was the rest of the viewing audience. Always his comic genius and humanity shined through when he performed. Such a quick and wonderfully capricious mind. Our family has been touched by suicide on more than one occasion so I speak with some knowledge on how it feels to be a survivor. To know you must continue on down the path leaving behind someone you loved who simply hadn’t the strength to complete the journey. Questions often remain unanswered as you move on without them. I wish his family well.
These carrots are simply the best. They almost resemble a sweet potato in their yummy goodness.
2 lbs. carrots, cut into large chunks
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. chives, chopped
2 Tbsp. butter
1/4 tsp. ground coriander
1/4 tsp. paprika
pinch of cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. white pepper
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. lemon pepper
Cook carrots in boiling water until tender. Drain and cool slightly. Place all ingredients in food processor and pulse until coarsely processed. Adjust salt and pepper if desired.