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Posts Tagged ‘obsessive behavior’

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Yesterday I spent my afternoon culling out the clothes from my wardrobe I haven’t given so much as a glance to in over a year.  This was prompted by a discussion I had with a friend visiting for a couple of days. She has been maintaining a storage unit for several years after downsizing from a house to an apartment. Along with yard tools the 10 x 8 space is used for housing surplus household goods she no longer has room for. It seems the storage unit is a bone of contention with her son who views it as a hefty monthly outlay for storing items she hasn’t looked at since the Ice Age. Additionally, she admitted when she needs something she has tucked away somewhere, rather than search through every box to locate it she has been repurchasing the item. So, now she has not only one but two of everything to find a place for. I suggested since she hasn’t missed or has replaced most of her possessions in storage why not donate them or toss them. What? Get rid of my precious belongings. Never!! Hello?

Rick and I had a long discussion about the importance of things prior to his passing away. None of it mattered at all to him at that point. He took nothing with him on his journey but all the love he had shared and his memories. Everything else was left behind on the physical plane. Sometimes I wonder why we feel the need to amass so much around us.  Comfort, certainly, but it’s more than that. You could be comfortable in a little two bedroom house with a cozy living room and a rather plump cat. I am as a matter of fact. Someone asked me the other day what I’d do if I found myself suddenly wealthy. Wake up, most likely, but in truth I have a pretty good idea of what I’d do. There is no part of me that needs or desires a huge palatial estate with twelve bathrooms and a bowling alley. Perhaps that is why I am sitting here at my modest table writing this blog. This is not coming from any feelings of jealously with regard to those who live that high priced existence but rather that I have little interest in doing so myself. If miraculously my bank account grew an extra six or seven zeroes on the end of it’s balance, I believe I would buy houses for my children, then purchase a small cottage for myself with lots of windows perched on a dune overlooking the sea. A large sunny kitchen and a fireplace would be fabulous and at least two bathrooms in case I have guests. Then I would travel every inch of the world I could fit into my schedule in between time spent with my children and their families. That would be the ideal way to spend the remaining years allotted to me if riches were in my future. Anyone with a crystal ball pointing in that direction please jump in here and let me know if I should begin to pack.

Serendipity being what it is while we were entertaining the storage unit discussion “Hoarders” showed up on the TV following whatever show we’d tuned in to. Mesmerized we watched out of control “collectors” have to face their reality once the houses they lived in became totally unmanageable or downright dangerous. One woman had a plethora of cats who had liberty to pee and poop wherever they found an open spot. Sadly two of them were discovered in mummified states as the clutter was unearthed and carted away.  If you have to create a pathway to navigate your house you might be hoarder. Had a friend in West Virginia who kept everything from the first spoon her little boy used to every report card, each picture he drew, various stages of clothing, and every single card he ever gave her. You can’t keep everything. Those memories can be stored in your heart always but perhaps not in your basement or crawl space. After watching the destruction on hoarders my friend vowed to go home and go through her storage unit and eliminate most of it.

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I heard someone say once America is a country of extremes. That we swing widely from one side to the other. That being said on the opposite side of the coin from the collectors would be the minimalists. Some even qualify as compulsive declutterers. I have a friend married to a lady who gets rid of things the instant they arrive. Unable to abide any clutter at all even the mail has to be collected by him so anything of importance doesn’t end up in the trash can before it can be attended to. Their living room is so sparsely decorated it always gives the appearance they have either just moved in or are preparing to move out. It’s the middle ground for me. Not a clutterer by any means, I need a throw pillow or two, a little color here and there, a magazine or two in evidence and bare walls flat out depress me. My decorating schemes are earthy tones, with contrasting fabrics and designs. I like to sink into my environment and find comfort after a long day in the trenches.

Honestly I have let go of so much over the past ten years. Sometimes I see more of my things when I visit friends and family then I do when I’m in my own home. Many of my pictures, linens, dishes and decorative items were given away or sold during my transition from the house in the high country to the wee house I inhabit today. I don’t mind at all. When I visit I say a silent hello and am glad to see them but I have no place to put them now and like to think someone I love is enjoying them. A friend of mine has a motto I like, “keep the best and leave the rest”. She lives her life that way.  Her closet is composed of interchangeable outfits enhanced by clothes she rents on a monthly basis. Let me preface, I’m not there yet and haven’t even entered the neighborhood. My closet is full and these are just the winter clothes. My summer wardrobe is stored in plastic bins in my shed. I’m still a work in progress. I do believe the beginning of changing a behavior is first acknowledging you are doing it, and second be willing to either improve how much you do it or stop doing it all together. I am on step one. My mother’s love of clothes slopped right over onto me and stuck like tar on a hot day. Sigh.

We all have things we are working on.  I have friends who’s love of shoes leans toward needing a twelve step program. What was it I believe Aristotle said avoid extremes of all sorts and seek moderation in all things. I’m working on it, I’m working on it.

Have a great uncluttered day!

 

 

 

 

 

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