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Posts Tagged ‘over 50 dating’

Here I am seated at my keyboard at 3 a.m. again. Sigh and double sigh. Methinks I may never get another complete night’s sleep again. I do long for those days when I would hit the snooze alarm three times before dragging my tired self out of a warm bed to get ready for work. Sleepy eyed and wishing for one more hour of shut eye before facing my day, I would pad into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I ask you, where oh where has that eight hour a day sleepy girl gone?

Guess lack of sleep is part of the aging process. It’s not my favorite part. There are many things about getting older, however, I totally embrace. For instance, I do not miss knowing I have to go into work every single day of the week and remain there for eight hours or more. I do not miss this. I do have to say, of late, I have begun to wonder how on earth I fit eight hours of work in my day. I can’t even seem to find free time to have lunch with a friend on my calendar. Life has gotten very busy since the pandemic released it’s grasp on our lives.

Another thing I like about getting older, is I seem to have learned quite a bit along the way. Between simply trying things on and seeing how they work for me, doing incredibly stupid things and finding out they don’t work for me at all, and generally soaking up all the information from the lessons presented to me during my lifetime, I seem to have gathered some wisdom along the way. Amen to that. It used to be I jumped into a situation with both feet and then figured out how to back out of it somewhere later down the road. Now, I sort of circle the wagons and take a long, slow look at what I’m doing before simply diving into the pot. Like that. Like that a lot.

As I said a while back, I have begun to explore dating once again. I have never dated at this age before, largely because today I am as old as I have ever been. If you get my drift. Most people who have reached this point in their lives are pretty much settled into who they are going to be. I know this is true of me. Was I to describe myself, I might use the adjective my friends seem to like to choose for me, “hummingbird”. I am a flitterer for sure. My metabolism, thanks Mom, keeps me moving. Fast seems to be the only speed on my dial and this remains true even though my body doesn’t always cooperate the way it used to anymore when asked to keep up the pace. Artistic might be another adjective I would apply when speaking to who I am. Certainly I am neat, and for the most part I like to show up on time and prefer others to do the same. Most of all I would say, I love to laugh and have fun. Now, there are lots of checks on the negative side as well, of course. I’m not saying I’m by any stretch of the imagination I am a perfect being. I am totally stubborn at times. Rick used to say I was the most hard headed female he ever knew. Most likely that will be written on my tombstone. “Here lies one hard headed woman”. I like to communicate, and am a pretty good talker but also enjoy my quiet solitary times and can, when in that mood, prefer to be left totally alone with my thoughts. I am not high maintenance as far as material things, or I like to believe that to be true, but I do love to be adored and like lots of attention. I am, after all, an only child and a scorpio one at that. There you are, Susie, the pluses and minuses, in a nutshell. Not looking for perfection in the person I’m dating either, just mutual respect and some line items in common to bring us together.

The first man I attempted to get to know, we’ll call him Paul, was also a talker. At our first and only meeting, Paul shared with me right out of the gate, he was the father of ten children. I might have saved that piece of information at least until after the coffee was poured. Whew. It’s not that I mind he has such a brood, I love children, but his children have children. When he showed me a family picture it was taken in a panoramic format so as to include everyone in the frame. My mind immediately went to meeting all ten of his offspring. It has been my experience having one or two adult children check you out when dating their dad can be a grueling process. All those unstated questions hanging in the air. “Are you trying to replace my mother”, “are you after dad’s money”? Imagine twenty inquisitive eyes dissecting you like a frog in biology class! After I’d digested that big bite, he went on to tell me he had recently made a trip to Ecuador to explore the spiritual side of his nature. That he was exploring the spiritual part of him, I found exciting. I said that sounded like an interesting trip, and asked him to tell me more. Turned out trip was the optimum word here. While there, he continued, he had ingested some kind of magic mushrooms which took him to places in his mind where he had never been before. At that point my mind was taking me places as well, such as looking for the exit doors in the restaurant. Thanking him for a lovely cup of coffee and the scone, I exited stage left. When I got home he sent me a text stating he had a questionnaire he would like me answer. He went on to say, he would do the same on his side, to see if we should proceed from there. Next!

After Paul, I waited a bit to test the waters again. Next came Dan. Dan was a lovely man really. He was an engineer and had a beautiful home high in the foothills above where I live. Dan had been widowed for six years and was very attractive and well spoken. After we met through a mutual friend, Dan asked me to have lunch with him, and I accepted. Have to admit there were a few butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as the time approached for Dan to pick me up for our lunch date. When he arrived, and I invited him in to see my house, his first words were “wow, you are so neat and clean”. I took this as a compliment, but thinking back it came as sort of a nervous response. Hmmmm. We had chosen a fun place to eat locally for our first meal together. Over burgers and fries we scratched the surface of who we are as people. The usual questions came up about children, activities we enjoyed, types of food we like to eat, etcetera, etcetera. I swear I’m going to write a book and simply hand it out at the first date. If they get past chapter four and wish to proceed, we can go from there. Dan has two children, boys, living in the Bay Area. He likes to hike, which I do as well, was involved in remodeling his home, and was looking for someone to spend time with and perhaps have a relationship with if that worked out. Check and check. A beginning.

After lunch, which went well, we made plans to get together the following week for dinner. During the week we texted back and forth a few times discussing what was going on in our respective lives and just generally keeping up with one another. Once we made it to the day of our second meeting, and arrived at the restaurant where we were to have dinner, we were getting along great. The meal was delicious, the conversation flowed, all was moving along swimmingly. Well, almost. When dessert was served Dan brought up that he enjoyed being single and living alone. The reason he does, he went on, is that he likes the freedom to throw everything and anything everywhere and anywhere it landed. He told me though he was dressed nicely for our date, at home he was a complete slob and enjoyed living that way. Now, I’m all for personal freedom. You should live whatever way that works for you. Seriously, I’m all about that. If throwing corn cobs on the floor or never making your bed works for you then God bless you, really. However, that is not how I choose to exist. Mess and chaos make me messy and chaotic. I was processing this information when he told me there was another woman he had been dating for five months. She, according to him, was in love with him, but this feeling was not reciprocated on his part. Uh-huh. Check please. Sigh. Why, I wanted to ask, are we here eating Tirimasu if you, a) like being single and want to live alone and throw your clothes all about, and b) already have a relationship? Perhaps I should do a questionnaire myself?

So, it is back to the drawing board for me. I’m just not sure where I want to proceed from here, or even if. I do have sort of an eternal optimism about love. I believe there is one more true romance out there in my story, and I am willing to do the research to see if I can find him. Perhaps we are back to the old adage, “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince”.

That’s it for today. Hot, hot, hot here in Northern California. Got the air cranking and the blinds half open. Have a great day!!

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