This year presents, for me, many personal life decisions. Do I stay where I am a single lady with one cat, in my dear little rental house and continue my weekly commute back and forth to Richard’s? Or…… do I move to Richard’s, and become part of a small family unit with one cat? Hmmmmm. Do I keep my job should I move, and commute the 45 minutes to and from work two days a week? Or….., do I look for a job closer to where Richard is located? Or…. Option 3, quit entirely, put my feet up, and eat bon bons ? Do I head out for three months with Richard in the fifth wheel for Alaska and parts unknown? Or…… do I stay home and continue my life as it is while he heads out on this own? If I do go, what about my sweet Boo cat, who is having some end of life issues at the moment? I cannot picture myself leaving her for that length of time, any more then I can imagine taking her with us. These questions keep me up at night of late. My dreams seem to be heavily laced with old issues still unresolved, as well as a plethora of current issues I’m working on. All this leaves me with the overwhelming urge to catch a southbound train and not look back. Running away is never the solution. That does not mean it doesn’t look pretty good to me right at the moment, that and a very large margarita rimmed with salt, solutions or no solutions.
In the middle of all this muddle, I was scheduled to have surgery on my hand April 5th. I have a wonky pinkie on my left hand due to Duperyns Contracture. There is no doubt I do need to address this. In particular, it is becoming annoying when I type. As it is bent nearly in half, it insists on hitting the Caps Lock key instead of the “A” on the keyboard leaving me with row after row of upper case letters. Need to or not, there is just no way I can fit everything going on into one small life. So, I postponed it. My guess is, the surgeon is going to be less than pleased with this decision. Sometimes, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. If I had proceeded with the surgery, immediately following I would be required to go back and forth daily for physical therapy appointments. These visits are mandatory for proper recovery, and cannot be missed. The huge facility where the PT office is located is twenty-five minutes away and, is undergoing a complete renovation of it’s parking areas. The last time I was there, I circled the wagons for about an hour trying to find some place to park. Finally, I had to do battle with another tired traveler for the one available space that opened up. I thought things might get ugly, Under the table cash deals were being ironed out for parking rights, but I got there a fraction of time before she did, and to the victor go the spoils. She did offer me the one finger salute as she passed by, which I took as a sign she wasn’t totally pleased with the outcome. Doing that every day, would have me setting up a mental health appointment as well. On top of this, Boo goes for treatments every other day. In between work, commuting back and forth, appointments, friends and family, Boo, and Richard, ummmmm, nope, can’t do it. Someone’s going to mad, guess the doctor is just as good a choice as the next fellow. At least he doesn’t live with me. Personally, I don’t think when you are stressed, it is a good time to go under anesthesia to begin with. As the plan was to put me totally out during the surgery, whether right or wrong in the doctor’s view, this feels like “right” to me at the moment.
Another stress inducer is that there is so much going on in the news lately. I have taken to selective news watching which includes the weather, puppies and kittens, and stories with happy conclusions. Takes about five minutes of my time every morning. Then, I pick up the highlights of the meatier news stories, like politics, war, and mayhem from my news junkies as the day goes along. I did hear there was yet another mass shooting in the headlines. We seem to be seeing these on a regular basis. I had a conversation on St. Patrick’s Day with one of the people seated at our dinner table about this very subject. The gentleman I was talking to is former military, and has a permit to carry in the State of California. For him, this is a very hot button subject. When talking about such things you have to keep both ears open to hear both sides of the question not just want you want to hear that supports your thinking. In my defense, I did not bring the subject up. I wanted to have a nice peaceful end to a lovely dinner party. However, once weapons were drawn, so to speak, I found I needed to put my two cents worth in for my own peace of mind. I am not adverse to individuals having weapons for self defense and hunting, if that is your pleasure. It is not my choice, but I support the fact it could well be someone else’s. However, I see no reason why a private citizen needs to own an assault weapon. If you used an AK47 on a deer, there would be nothing left but a set of antlers on your dinner plate. This made everybody laugh, but I was serious about that. In response, the gentleman said, “it is my right”, followed by, “if they do a background check, it will be fine”. That being true, why are we leading the world in mass shootings? A background check doesn’t prevent warped thinking from trumping the background check card (no pun intended). Just saying. But enough gun talk for now.
Another holiday is about to make itself known. I came into work this morning to find a huge replica of a chocolate bunny sitting by my desk cradling a basket of eggs, as well as all kinds of Easter decorations adorning the walls and counters. Next Friday, I’ve been informed, is Easter finery day. Employees are being encouraged to dress up in their Easter best for work. Kay. Cold weather has moved back into our area replacing the glorious spring days we’ve been treated to over the past couple of weeks. Last report rain was coming in both this weekend and Easter weekend. Most of my Easter clothes lean towards warmer weather so may just have to pull a hat out and throw some flowers on it and call it good. Today is “Cat in the Hat Day” (I missed the memo). I wasn’t told, as I’m only here two days a week, so couldn’t go through my storage bins to pull out my trusty red and white striped hat for the occasion. A lot of people are running around here looking decidedly “youer than you” for a Friday.
I do love Dr. Suess. Read all his books to my children, and they, in turn, to theirs. Like so many enduring children’s book writers, there is often a message to their madness hidden in between the lines. Would be amazing, to my mind at least, to write something so profound as to last for generation after generation. I keep getting that nag in my brain that I have the propensity to write a book. I certainly am wordy enough, lol, but I can’t seem to wrap my arms around such a momentous project. You don’t just sit down and bang a book out. Writing a definitive novel requires structure and planning. You need a plot and a story line, for example. People have suggested over the years I write about my life, but who’d believe it? Just kidding. Well, sort of kidding. Who’d care, is another question? I would like to leave my mark in the sand, but don’t know quite where to begin. Another project to ponder in 2024. I find when I have dilemmas, I don’t have to leap forward into doing something. However, if I don’t at least take a step in the direction I am desiring to go, it becomes an “I’ll think about it tomorrow” rather than an “I’ll do it today” sort of situation.
Another such moving forward item on my list would be to exercise. I walk every day at least twenty-five minutes. However, as good as that is for the body, I need to do some toning and strengthening. My skin is definitely not gathered as tightly around my body as it used to me, and that’s a fact. When it comes to working out on machines, I’d rather eat a spider. No, I’d rather eat ten spiders. Truly, I abhor structured exercise. As I’ve mentioned before, so far I have signed up with three gyms, only to pay the price of admission but never show up for the actual workouts. Sigh. It’s a personal problem. An alternative might be yoga. Somehow it feels more pleasing to me. There’s an APP called “lazy yoga” or some such appealing name. I looked into it. It says “free”, but that’s only to download it. Once installed, then you pay. I’d rather not. I’m not eager enough to do it, to have to pay for it. As I said, a personal problem. The residents do chair exercises here every day in the room across from the lobby where I sit. I’ve begun to mimic them if I’m having a slow day, but don’t think that’s going to tighten up much.
On the subject of spiders, or insects in general, yesterday I went to take a bath at Richard’s house and found a very large roach had taken up occupancy in the tub ahead of me. Ewwwwwww. OMG. I can’t stand roaches. I read once they could withstand a nuclear holocaust, but found out on further research that’s not really true. They can, in fact, withstand large amounts of radiation, but a nuclear blast would take them out with the rest of us. Still, wouldn’t surprise me if a couple of their hardy band made it through, scorched but not beaten. Richard is very clean, his house always immaculate, but yet there this bug was waving one spiny little leg at me. I abandoned the bath. It’s not like I’d been working out, lol, no danger of that. When I lived in the south, they had huge cockroaches. Something about that humid air breeds outrageously large insects. In Florida, they have large flying roaches. Adds a little more fun to the party.
I had noticed three pest control vans outside one of Richard’s neighbors houses the day before, indicative of someone dealing with a bug problem. Quite often, if they spray one house, whatever is hiding in the walls relocates to the closest safe space. I know this, because it happened to me when I rented a condo when my kids were small. The complex was brand new, and we were to be the first tenants. Several weeks after we’d moved in, I opened a drawer in the kitchen to find a meaty cockroach perched atop one of my serving spoons. Having no one available to remove it but me, I got rid of it, hoping it was the only one around. This, I learned later, was highly unlikely. Cockroaches are social beings. Also, where you might see only one, there could be hundreds more lurking in the dark somewhere. Sure enough, several nights later, I woke up in the middle of the night and turned over on my pillow, only to find a second tribe member staring me directly in the face from the pillow next to me. Lighting my sock on fire wouldn’t have gotten me out of that bed any faster. Whew. The following morning, I called the landlord. He reported they had sprayed apartments around me for roaches, and apparently not spraying mine made it an inviting vacation getaway for the disenfranchised bugs. Swell. They sprayed my place next, and that was the end of the insect problem, until the black widows moved into my garage. It wasn’t just one spider, I could have dealt with one spider, but she brought with her friends and family. The babies, sort of translucent in nature, would repel down on thin strings of web over my head while I was doing laundry. While out in the garage, I spent most of my time swatting at my head at invisible targets while trying to load or unload the machines. With another twenty or so boxes to unpack from our move, I began to open them with a pair of tongs while wearing industrial strength rubber gloves in the event any crawling surprises lurked inside. This was totally not working for me. Once again, I put a call into the landlord. The helpful pest man who came out to eradicate the spiders, explained several things to me prior to spraying. The first, was the most alarming. He said he probably could not do his job thoroughly because, black widows like to hide in boxes. Goody. I still had ten or so boxes left perfect for habitation. I hoped I hadn’t already transported anything into the house. Secondly, he told me turning under land to build new construction can create infestations such as this. Ants, most likely would be next. Sure enough, not long afterwards, I came home from work only to find my sink and counters literally awash with tiny ants. There was nothing in either location that should have drawn the little buggers, and yet, there they were. They were crawling up walls, in toilets, inside shower stalls. When I actually found frozen dead ant corpses mixed in with the chocolate chips in my mint chocolate chip ice cream container IN THE FREEZER, that, as they say, was the end of that program. What was next, a swarm of locusts, or being overrun by a pack of rats? Deciding I wasn’t willing to wait around to find out, I gave my thirty-day notice. As it turned out, we moved into a lovely place I liked better several miles away, totally bug free. As an added bonus, it was $100 a month cheaper. Sometimes, you are forced into a decision that turns out in the end to be the best decision for you to have made in the first place.
So here we are at another weekend. Because I made the trip to my storage unit to retrieve my warm weather clothes last week, the forecast is rain and snow for the area. Murphy you dog.
Happy weekend.
Wow, you have so much going on and big decisions to make. I hope you feel comfortable with the choices you make and continue to strive to be the best you can.
I’ve been in conversations with work colleagues in the USA when visiting for meetings when the subject of owning and carrying firearms came up. They have been good and fair discussions. The Australian experience after the Port Arthur incident in 1996 has been instructive. We still have gun violence, but the scale and nature are different to what is experienced in the USA. I respect that my American friends feel comfortable owning and carrying a variety of firearms. I also know I will never live in the USA and remain happy where I am.
I respect that too Gary, just see no reason for assault weapons.
Yup, banner year for decisions. Keeps my mind busy for sure.
You are a brave, brave woman to broach the subject of assault weapons Susie. I am absolutely, 100% in agreement with you. But I hate to bring up this thing people feel so passionately about. I know personally a family who gave their daughter an AR for her 18th birthday. Why??? For what???? Ugh.
On a lighter note, I love the description of your antics with the roaches.
Good luck with the decisions. (Though I am 89% sure you will stay with Boo and Richard will take off solo for his trip…). Let me know if I guessed correctly.
You are definitely right on most counts. I most probably will stay with Boo, can’t imagine not. As to Richard, she and I will probably move in with him down the road. The logistics are up in the air.
I just can’t stay silent about the gun issue. Makes no sense to me. If we don’t stand up, then what? Hugs me