
Life is beginning to look a bit complicated. There are definitely pluses and minuses associated with on-line dating at this age. One thing I have to say, it keeps me busy. Tomorrow I am headed out on the lake to fish for trout with my friend Richard. I was tasked with packing a lunch. His idea of lunch consisted of crackers topped with sardines and hard boiled eggs. That being said, I’m okay with taking over the wheel for this portion of the program, no problem. Scanning my shelves, I realized I was out of some of the ingredients I needed to pack a decent cooler. A trip to the market needed to be added to my to-do list. Once inside my usual market, everything seemed quiet, and well, different. A lot of the shelves were either empty or half empty. As to the customers, it was literally me and twenty confused looking senior men pushing carts up and down the aisles.
The man in front of me at the check stand made me smile. He had on a 49er’s ball cap, olive green shorts, black socks, and a bright orange polo shirt. You could have located him easily in a New England blizzard. In his cart he had a case of beer, a quart of vodka, a huge bag of M&M’s, two bags of chips, some designer popcorn, two tubs of Dreyer’s cookies and cream, and a can of assorted nuts. Definitely single. You ladies out there looking for a love match, you need to hit the market about 9:30 in the morning wearing an apron and carrying a pan of freshly baked brownies. You’ll get a proposal before you make it to the bread aisle.
Before going to the store, I’d already put in a busy day. I woke up, to find a bear or some kind of critter, had gotten into my trash can overnight. Inside the bin there had been two bags of trash and one bag containing a rotisserie chicken carcass I had wrapped in a freezer bag and then rewrapped. Apparently the bear, or whatever it was, wasn’t deterred by my attempts to stave off inquisitive wildlife. The bin was turned over and what remained of the chicken was sitting upright in the middle of my front yard as if it was conducting an unseen orchestra. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, but for the fact the wasps had woken up before I got outside, and the chicken was alive with stinging insects. Drat the luck. Now for me, who is a bit afraid of bees and the like, this is like taping my eyelids open and making me watch Pet Cemetery twenty times. I circled the remains a few times, not wanting to leave a chicken perched on my lawn all day. There was no getting close to it without irritating the buzzing beasties crawling all over it. These are the times I wonder, once again, “Where, oh where, is my prince?” Realizing it was me who was going to have to take care of the situation, I kept checking on the bony bird all morning. The persistent bugs continued to hang around. At one point, for whatever reason, there seemed to be only a few. I took my longest tongs out of the drawer, pulled on my industrial gloves, and preparing for battle went out the front door. Standing on my porch, I ran out to the yard, picked up a piece of chicken, and then screamed all the way to the trash can. Once that piece was gone, I’d run back inside. In about fifteen minutes. all remnants were gone. I’m sure by that time, my neighbors had already placed a call to the local mental health hotline.
At least my wasp crisis didn’t cost me any money. It’s been a month where dollars have flown out of my checking account at an alarming pace. While down in the Bay Area staying with friends last week, my brakes went south. I stepped on the pedal one day, and it sounded like I was grinding pumice. No rocket scientist when it comes to the workings of the internal combustion engine (do they still call it that), even I knew that sound didn’t bode anything good. I made an appointment at the local repair shop, and $500 later, my brakes were good as new. yay. Two weeks before, I added two new tires to my credit card, so that charge was already in the queque waiting to be paid.
To add to the fun, over the weekend, I sat on my glasses. They didn’t break exactly, but they definitely were the worse for wear. Drat the luck. Though I tried to straighten them, I noticed people had begun to look at my face then slightly cock their heads. Fine. I went down to the optometrist and asked to have them adjusted. The lady behind the counter said they were old, and if she bent them too far they most likely would break. For a minute there, I thought she was talking about me. Rick bought me these glasses probably 8-10 years ago. They were very expensive, and I really like how they frame my face. Insert pouty lip here.
Sooooo, I tried on sixty pairs of lenses, finally deciding on a pair I didn’t hate. Asking the woman helping me the price of the glasses, she said $286. Doable, not optimum, but doable. Okay. Then we got down to the REAL price. The $286 is only if you want the frames. If you want to actually be able to see out of the frames when you get them home, then you really get down to business. Bi-focals $150, check, transitional lenses $150, check, scratch proof lenses $90, check, check, and check. By the time I was done I could have put down a deposit on a condo in Boca Raton. Ah well, it’s only money yes? C’est la vie, and all that rot. Perhaps I should simply take my paycheck when I receive it and turn it over to the bank whose name is embossed on my credit card and leave it at that?
I am talking to a new man on the phone tonight I’ve been communicating with via email. Oddest coincidence, he lives in the town where Rick and I lived for eleven years when we owned the restaurant. That fact is only a bit odd, but the fact he lives on exactly the same street we lived on, seven houses down on the same side of the street. That fact is a lot odd. Wow. For a moment I paused when he told me the street he lived on, and pondered what I would do if he told me he lived in my old house. That simply would be just too weird for words. I would have had to stop communicating with him immediately, and go in the closet with the bottle of vodka and the fiery Cheetos again. Seriously. Sometimes the synchronicity present in my life is almost incomprehensible to me.
I have to say here, for those of you who are trepidatious about trying on-line dating as an avenue to meet a partner, for me it has been a very positive experience. I have made some good friends, and had a lot of fun. Like anything in life, you have to use your head. Someone said to me “isn’t it dangerous”? Probably. Back in the day people used to meet in bars. What did you know about those people? If you met somebody at work or at church, that didn’t guarantee something dark wasn’t lurking somewhere beneath the surface. I’m sure Jeffrey Dahmer held down a job from time to time. All things in life need to be approached with your eyes open and your mind aware. That being said, enjoy whatever you do. That is all we have. Happy Friday.