It’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m drinking my first cup of coffee. Welcome to my insomnia. The cat and I are watching “Must Love Dogs” for the 964th time, understandably not her favorite flick. There’s something comforting about an old familiar movie. Perhaps it’s that you already know the flow of the film. If you need to use the facilities or make a snack while the movie is playing you can pick right up where you left off when you plop back into your seat. Being already aware of the beginning, middle, and end, there are no unexpected surprises. You are assured you will like the ending before it ever plays out on the screen. Nothing like life itself where each day holds its own mix of mystery laced with an unsettling dusting of the unknown. Must Love Dogs, if you’ve seen it, is about the pitfalls of reentering the dating world after a breakup and the missteps when starting a new relationship.
Dating is such a murky pond. I am glad I’m not tossing my line over the side anymore. A friend of mine asked me recently what I’d do if I found myself once again on my own. Interesting question. I’m usually the one asking her about the men in her life. Generally a short conversation. Widowed twenty years she hasn’t dated since her husband passed nor shows any interest in doing so in the near future. As to what I would do if single again, I didn’t have an immediate answer. The question did trigger a line of debate in my mind after I hung up. Would I or wouldn’t I look for love again? With Rick sleeping peacefully in the other room this seems an unlikely scenario for me. Life has a way of throwing you curves, however, so I have learned never to say never. The thought of beginning anew with another person at this juncture in my life is daunting. Truly you never replace someone you love deeply. Another person can share your heart in a different way, but they cannot fill the exact same spot held by the person left behind.
How would I find someone who would accept the quirky parts of me as seamlessly? I sing to the cat, celebrate Clean Sheet Day, raise my hands in the air and dance in place when surprised, and generally am a rather silly composite of tissue and bone. Conversely, Rick has his own oddities and nuances which I find enchanting where someone else might not. That settles it. He and I will each have to live to be 108 and die hand in hand while cliff diving in Acapulco. I’ve always wanted to try cliff diving, and if I did I’m quite sure that would be the outcome.
According to news sources millennials aren’t stepping into marriage at the same pace as their predecessors. This is not to say they don’t enter into serious or meaningful relationships by any means, rather they don’t seem to have the urge to sanctify these relationships with marriage as often as generations before them.
There are so many things to consider when choosing a new person to share your life with. In a society where divorce is not uncommon, children can be a huge consideration. How will the new partner integrate with your offspring or you with theirs should the relationship take a turn toward serious? Being a step parent is a big responsibility. I’ve done it twice. Both parties having children adds a whole new dimension to the program. Will your kids blend well together? Then there are the exes. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Even if you haven’t any children, does the person you are dating want a family? Do you long for children where he would prefer it to remain just the two of you? This, when staring into his endlessly fascinating blue eyes, may not seem important when the relationship is newly blooming, but I guarantee as the years pass will definitely take on more importance.
There are a lot of things we don’t think of when getting to know someone. For example, Rick is a night person. I, on the other hand, shine when the sun does. This could pose a problem for some couples. In our case it happens it does not. For us, it allows both of us alone time and when we meet in the middle of the day we really enjoy each others company.
Money, is another issue which should not be ignored. Are you a lady who can’t resist a shoe sale at Nordstrom’s going with a man who still has his untouched piggy bank from grade school? This may work when you have separate bank accounts but when the monies are co-mingled this could easily become a point of contention. Are you holding on to the first penny you ever earned and into saving for retirement, while your partner is a free spirit who espouses the theory that tomorrow a truck could take you out while crossing the road? While you are pushing for saving for retirement, the free spirit may well be shopping for the best deals for a flight to Bali leaving day after tomorrow.
People get together for a myriad reasons, not always visible to those around them. Seriously don’t you ever look like an outwardly mismatched couple and wonder how on earth they ever got together. She looks like a guard for the Lakers while his nose reaches just below her breastbone, or he’s a non-stop talker where she’s a head nodder who rarely opens her mouth. In the end all the matters is how you view your life partner because living with someone 24/7 is no walk in the park if it isn’t someone you love unconditionally.
As I said dating is not for the faint of heart. Internet dating is another way to increase your odds. Problems here are obvious. Dating sites are not limited to just the nice people looking for love. For predators it is like a killer whale coming across a vast expanse of ocean inhabited by lethargic sea lions. That six-pack ab, 30 something executive you’ve been communicating with on Facebook, could well turn out to be an unemployed ex-con looking for his latest mark. I have explored this option myself, met Rick on such a site, but you do have to be cautious about where you meet and use common sense when exposing yourself to it.
So, I reiterate. I’m glad I’m not out there again. For those of you who are, I wish you good trolling.
This is a lovely upgrade from regular French toast. You can use whatever fruit you have on hand. Rick likes it with butter and syrup but that is up to a vote from your pants.
Banana Strawberry Pain Perdu
4 thick slices of slightly stale bread
1/8-1/4 cup cream cheese
1 banana, sliced
1 tsp. brown sugar
6 large strawberries, sliced (leave 4 whole for garnish)
2 large eggs
1/2 cup low-fat milk
1 tsp. brandy
1 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
2 Tbsp. butter
Confectioner’s sugar
Spread cream cheese on one side of each piece of bread. Top two of the four pieces with sliced banana and some of the sliced strawberries, reserving what fruit is left over. Cover with remaining bread (cream cheese side to the inside).
Whisk together eggs, milk, brandy, vanilla, and cinnamon in deep flat dish. Place each side of the bread packages in the eggs mixture for 30 seconds.
Heat butter over medium heat until frothy. Place bread in pan and cook until nicely browned (about 5 mins. per side). Just before you remove from the pan add remaining banana slices to butter and brown. Serve along with remaining fruit with toasted bread.
Serves 2
Yum yum. Now I sing, Hippy hippy shake. 😀 😀 😀
Simply delish! 🙂
Reblogged this on Chef Ceaser.