My other half tells me regularly he keeps me around for the entertainment value. Every day, so he says, is a whole new world, living with me. I do my best to change out my slapstick routine as often as possible, because watching a grown woman fall over the open dishwasher door which is in the same location since its original installation, or observe her perform a well choreographed two-step at 2 a.m. with the vacuum she forgot to put away before going to bed can wear thin on a man after ten years. Smile.
Coordination certainly has never been my strong suit, and actually not even so much as a pair of dress pants. I can remember my mother cautioning me when I held anything that could possibly spill, break, or ignite lest I take the house down to the ground in one clumsy move. Shrinks might pipe in here and say that if you predict your children will be one way or another it will, in the end, be who they are. In defense of my mother I think it was more self-preservation on her part having lived with me up until that point and seen the potential hazards of doing just that. Perils of Pauline had nothing on my life. Fortunately, as I’ve aged I’ve left most of the day to day things behind me but to my other half’s delight I still keep him entertained on a lessor level day to day.
As we are moving, I sat down last week and ordered several boxes of the vacuum bags that you see advertised on TV. You know, the ones that flatten a large fluffy pillow down to the size of a piece of writing paper. We seem to have accumulated an inordinate amount of bedding, etc. over the years as well as clothes, so it seemed to be the ideal solution to shrinking our load.
Typically the boxes arrived and when opened had no instructions enclosed. Not that it appeared to be brain surgery, but it would have been nice to have some idea how it worked. After cogitating on this while doing other things around the house, it occurred to me, for obscure some reason (I have no clue how to explain the workings of my mind. Maybe when I colored by hair blonde back in the eighties it effected my IQ.) that I would have to figure out how to reverse the flow of air from the vacuum in order for this to work. Confidently I walked into the living room and asked my other half how to make this happen. After realizing that I was serious about this, he started to laugh. Then he got to laughing to such a point that I felt I should check beneath him as most probably he had left an egg there. Really? Yes, yes I realize now in order to work it has to suck, as vacuums do naturally, not the other way around. I feel I will never hear the end of this.
The rest of the day was spent deflecting “Susie jokes” where he would hold up common household tools like a potato peeler and use them incorrectly, put his reading glasses on backwards and ask me why they wouldn’t work. Funny, funny, man.
Once when first living with my ex-husband I had a situation with a quilt his grandmother had made for him. It was a lovely quilt in perfect condition. Each identically sized square contained a geometric design beautifully hand-stitched in a pallet of fall colors. Large enough for a king sized bed, I decided it would be a shame not to use it when the cooler weather moved in.
Coming home from work, and doing as he habitually did heading for the bedroom to change his work clothes, he immediately noticed the lovely quilt on the bed. Changed, he came into the kitchen and commented that it looked great but I had put it on the wrong way. Now to my eye it looked square and symetrical any way you put in on. Insisting that I was not seeing it, and believing that he was seeing something I did not I adjusted the quilt and he was happy. The following week when I changed the sheets, I was again faced with the quilt dilemma. After adjusting it several times I was satisfied I had it on the right way. Sure enough, once again he came home and pointed out it was wrong. Struggle as I could, I could not see what he was seeing but I diligently rearranged it and voila. He let me do this for several months until he couldn’t stand it any more and started laughing. Very funny. He’s lucky I didn’t use it to wrap his lifeless body in before disposing of it.
I know you may not believe it, but I believe myself not to be without intelligent thought, but sometimes I don’t think, I just do. My body it seems is usually running at full speed with the rest of me scurrying along behind trying to catch up.
Perhaps that puts me in league with our past presidents, who, in truth have put their idiotic statements and actions right out there for public scrutiny.
Gerald Ford, besides giving me a run for my money in the coordination category being a danger to society with a grip on his golf club, said “If Lincoln was alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.”
Bill Clinton added his money to the pot with, “You know the one thing that’s wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say.”
Exploring further back, Calvin Coolidge is quoted with saying “When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.”
Not to omit my personal favorite contributed by Richard M. Nixon, ” I was under medication when I decided not to burn the tapes.”
Last but not least Jimmy Carter saying, “I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something that God recognizes that I will do – and I have done it – and God forgives me for it.” This must make Rosalind sleep well at night, and I hope God will be pleased he’s doing a good job.
One thing I have noticed through the years is if I am going to do something incredibly stupid, somebody will be standing right at my elbow recording all the details. Might I mention with regards to my other half that I handed him a small package of soy sauce (not a brain test) for his Chinese food last week and I’m still cleaning it off the upholstery, his shirt, and the pillow cases. Oh, and fair warning you continue to tease me about the vacuum bags you might want to consider employing a food taster in the future.
These were the best. I liked doing them in the oven and not having to deal with the mess, and the added calories of frying. We ate them all and it was fun putting them in the glass coffee mugs to serve. I would suggest you double this recipe as this worked for the two of us and we could have eaten more. This makes one large cookie sheet for the four zucchini.
Cheesy Baked Zucchini Fries
4 zucchini
1 cup Italian bread crumbs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. Lawry’s lemon pepper
1/3 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
2 eggs
Salt and pepper to taste
Ranch dressing for dipping
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Cover large cookie sheet with tin foil and spray well with cooking spray.
Trim and slice zucchini in half lengthwise. Cut 1/2-3/4″ thin lengthwise slices off each half eliminating the outside slice that is all peel.
Cut into French fry size slices.
Mix together bread crumbs, grated Parmesan cheese, garlic powder, and lemon pepper. Place in shallow dish.
In another shallow dish beat eggs until frothy.
Place “fries” in egg mixture first allowing excess to drip off, then in bread crumb mixture. Line up on prepared pan. Sprinkle with shredded Parmesan cheese.
Bake for 12 mins. Carefully turn fries with spatula. Cook for an additional 12 mins. until brown and crunchy. Salt and pepper to taste.
Serve with ranch dressing for dipping.
Some late spring and early summer in this post to … enjoy – wonderful photos. Moving done that .. have a couple of t-shirts, but none photos. Next time somebody else has to move me out – not going anywhere until ….
I am tired of moving, but sometimes it opens up whole new worlds so I’m torn between curiosity and leaving a home I love. At all junctures, life is interesting. 🙂
It’s very dramatic to move home – but it also mean a good clear out – last time I use a software online so new exactly where every piece of furniture should go when the stuff arrived – the best thing I ever done, and all moving boxes and items where numbered, used unprofessional to move my stuff from Ireland and they where outstanding – one company packed and one moved, they forgotten my chair, footstool and sofa – but it arrived 14 days later. Had measured every piece of furniture and measured all the walls – used the program free for a week.Brilliant program ..
Viveka, that’s a great idea. Never thought of that. I’ll check it out!
here is the link –
http://www.smartdraw.com/specials/homedesign.asp
Thanks!
Oh yes, these sound excellent! I tend to have a ‘think later’ problem myself sometimes. Or possibly just a lack of common sense, I’m not sure. The episodes are few and far between but when they happen, they sure do happen.
When I get a lot on my mind, I do stupid things. Sometimes though I just don’t stop to think. Yes, they do.
Perfect zucchini fries!
Thanks. I could have just eaten them.
I had breakfast not too long ago but this is making my hungry.
You’ll have to have them for lunch 🙂
Absolutely lovely!! And thanks for stopping by my site. I look forward to keeping up with what you’re up to.
Thank you – I will do likewise 🙂
Those fries look delicious, and I can empathize with having an audience for those spectacular “coordination events.” (Be they physical or mental.) There’s always someone who sees (or hears) my face plants! 🙂
It’s true, I never fall on my face without an audience. 🙂
The Zucchini looks delicious! I also had a problem with those darn vacuum seal bags. I bought them thinking I’d save so much space…forgetting my vacuum didn’t have a hose to detach and suck with. Oopsy. 🙂
Well, you see, now I feel better – hah
It was a total blonde moment. I still have one full of sweaters bloating up my closet. LOL. 🙂
I like it, nice to have company 🙂
Looking to trying this recipe…when my Courgettes grow!
They’re positive addictive – let me know what you think
I’ve never made zucchini fries but they sound great. I’m going to have to try this. Thanks for sharing!
Zucchini is up there on my list of favorites so I’m always looking for new ways to present it. These I like sometimes just to snack on. Yummy.
You know, I always trip over the open dishwasher door too! It’s because it’s such a tight squeeze between it and the island opposite it. Yeah, that’s it. Really funny post – extremely well written. Fun to read. Oh, and the recipe looks pretty good too! I’ve never made zucchini fries before, but I’ve got way too much zucchini growing in my garden, so I’ll be looking for any and every recipe come August – and this is one I’ll make. Really great post – thanks.
Yes, that must be the reason. Thank you for suggesting such a thing. 🙂 You must try these – well, a little forceful, perhaps you should. They really are good. I like them in place of fries and baked are much better for you.
Your cheesy baked zucchini sounds terrific. I can’t wait to try them.
I found this hilarious! I think we all have those “episodes” and we all find them funny in others, so kind of have to see the humor when it happens to us. Fries look delicious, thanks for the recipe!
This sounds like the perfect preparation for zucchini – yum! And love the quotes too, by the way 🙂
Thank you. They really are good and a nice change from fries.
You are too funny today, Susie. About the zucchini fries — do they still taste like zucchini after all that? (Not a plus in my book)
Thanks – sometimes life just gets too silly 🙂 I love zucchini but for my other half it’s a so-so proposition. He scarfed these up and wanted more but I’d only made the one batch and was out of the veggie. I think you might like them. I’m hooked.
[…] too. Go ahead and follow her, you will thank me for it later. Susie posted this great recipe for Cheesy Baked Zucchini Fries, which looked so delicious that I had to make my own version almost straight […]